they will see us waving from suchgreatheights

please don't do this to me.
i feel myself falling, and falling, and falling deeper. deeper it gets, the harder it is for me.
i know you don't want anything more than what it is now, i know.
but why do i feel so safe suddenly, so secure when im with you.
at first, we were friends. den we went out. once, twice, and it became every week.
how did things become so complicated? why does things have to become complicated? it sucks.

i miss mary so much, it hurts. so much so, i like being alone, pretending physically she is still around, just busy. the more i type, the more hurtful it is. the pain is almost thumping, so real, so unfair. i know i need her. i need her really bad. she gets me y'noe? she is my answer to all that is hurting me, she will take it all away, i know. she'll be there 24-7, she will be there always. and always means forever. i hope. i wished i could fly to new york now, or in march even just to see her for a week. i am glad. ill be happy. i just want her home again.

i can't type any longer. words are no longer able to comprehend the way i feel, the confusion and all the damned pain.

music: fiona apple- sullen girl