they will see us waving from suchgreatheights
Sunday, January 30, 2005
lalallalala i need to pee
my mind is telling me to stop, but my heart aches. i am set a prison to this void i live in. i want to be emotional vacuumed no more. or live cooped up in the walls of this white room. isnt it all funny, isnt it all a big fat joke. to say why we shouldn't be made to do certain things. yet, we keep finding ourselves caught up in the same place, right at the beginning, right at the start of where this all began.
at least i do.
i am set in motion with the workings of the world-the functions, the movements, the whole damned mechanism. it is like a bomb, that is ticking. tick, tick, tick. it keeps moving, without stopping and i am not sure which wire to cut to set it in stop mode. and i fear, this impending fear, that someday this bomb might just explode and leave me one frayed, broken machine.
cannot keep living this way no?
went out to swim, and then headed to town to meet edwin(at least im moving along with other ppl not just him now no?).then went to meet kesh(thanks girl for the top) and i went home.met lynn yang on the way.she screamed like i was some kinda freak. but it was all good.
headed home and in my own time and space, i find myself at ease again. i just want to lock myself in my own room(my brother's room now for that matter cos im using his lappie) and watch videos.
am reading a book at the moment and it has this chapter on how people look at things reflect certain things. ie if u see animals as "stupid. dirty and ugly." that's usually how you see people. if u see a white room as "temporary. peaceful. and transcient." that's how you view death.
ah, joanne, there you go rambling random thoughts. so i sit before this comp, typing a whole load of rubbish and trying to unload my very very pained heart. of missing the people i love and being obsessed with the one boy that i don't even know feels the same way about me. i keep in my own solitude, that's best. that's why i dont want to go out with other people. cos' no one, knows, no one sees, no one understands.
my life is like a big fat bad cheesy boy band song that i can make up. ie. this one im listening to.
music: hoobastank-the reason
[ok, so i love it and so it means alot to certain people. and me. it meant something to me. it did. a helluvalot. and it still does. and it may not be a cheesedoff boy band love song, but still, it has been too overrated and the beauty of the lyrics is being done injusticed too. they play this song at chinablack for god's sake.SUE ME.]
need to pee=OUT.
(now im listening to beautiful soulful chillout music----conga lounge mix)HURRAH!gah.
at least i do.
i am set in motion with the workings of the world-the functions, the movements, the whole damned mechanism. it is like a bomb, that is ticking. tick, tick, tick. it keeps moving, without stopping and i am not sure which wire to cut to set it in stop mode. and i fear, this impending fear, that someday this bomb might just explode and leave me one frayed, broken machine.
cannot keep living this way no?
went out to swim, and then headed to town to meet edwin(at least im moving along with other ppl not just him now no?).then went to meet kesh(thanks girl for the top) and i went home.met lynn yang on the way.she screamed like i was some kinda freak. but it was all good.
headed home and in my own time and space, i find myself at ease again. i just want to lock myself in my own room(my brother's room now for that matter cos im using his lappie) and watch videos.
am reading a book at the moment and it has this chapter on how people look at things reflect certain things. ie if u see animals as "stupid. dirty and ugly." that's usually how you see people. if u see a white room as "temporary. peaceful. and transcient." that's how you view death.
ah, joanne, there you go rambling random thoughts. so i sit before this comp, typing a whole load of rubbish and trying to unload my very very pained heart. of missing the people i love and being obsessed with the one boy that i don't even know feels the same way about me. i keep in my own solitude, that's best. that's why i dont want to go out with other people. cos' no one, knows, no one sees, no one understands.
my life is like a big fat bad cheesy boy band song that i can make up. ie. this one im listening to.
music: hoobastank-the reason
[ok, so i love it and so it means alot to certain people. and me. it meant something to me. it did. a helluvalot. and it still does. and it may not be a cheesedoff boy band love song, but still, it has been too overrated and the beauty of the lyrics is being done injusticed too. they play this song at chinablack for god's sake.SUE ME.]
need to pee=OUT.
(now im listening to beautiful soulful chillout music----conga lounge mix)HURRAH!gah.
posted by jo # 2:01 PM 