they will see us waving from suchgreatheights

forgive me for it's just the rain and all this damned pain that is making me pensive early in the morning. i dont mean to be this way, or to implicate others. i guess i am guilty for doing these things to hurt the people that love me. my heart is entangled and my mind is blank.

on days like these, i really dont know what to do with myself.

there's just too many hurts to go back and be rid of them all. there are too many things i wanna tell them but yet, i am stopping myself from talking. all because i dont want to upset them. whatever it is, all i want to do now is leave. leave singapore. go to new york. and hopefully, leave my troubles behind.

i want to watch f.r.i.e.n.d.s all day, sing indie songs and dance to hiphop all day. i want to spend time with my books, my journal and my pen. i want to be with myself and my thoughts. keep them all under the wraps, for the word vomit i so often find myself practise would not be regurgitated. so that no one knows this emo me, no one would see how childish, immature i may be. and then no one, no one can hurt me. i'll be on my own with my emotive self and no one will judge me for that. selfish? perhaps. but really, that's all i ask for.