they will see us waving from suchgreatheights

how come there are some people who have such big hearts, who can have so much love for this world, for the things that hurt, and know that everything will be okay someday. and i cant/
how come i am not like them, genuinely happy and having huge smiles all the time. how come a part of me is always pulling me down, and taking me apart. how come i can never say for once that 'this is me, i am happy.' how come all that i want to be, is something i can never achieve. how come as hard as i try to make things okay, the hurt would somehow cave into me and eat at my heart. how come i cant get rid of this hint of sadness, of blue, that keeps pushing me down and leaves me feeling so empty. and underneath it all, i appear so sterile, but there's more, more and more pain. how come some people have lives that seem so perfect. how come everyone can look so happy, but i cant. i keep standing at the edge, at the verge of falling, all the time. and if i slip, slide, ill just break into a million pieces.