they will see us waving from suchgreatheights
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
im clenching my heart for it to all be gone. i miss my group mates so much. every time i see them, there's always something to talk about, to bitch about. i miss them, they're like family to me and i love, love them. isnt it a wonder, how we are still like family even after a year, of screaming at each other's faces, and of endless nights fretting over our piece..that we all end up right where we are now.
many a times, i feel like i can't take this life anymore. what will keep me going on? i really don't know any longer. it's getting late into the night and the sound of emo blasts on my radio. i am alone. i am alone. alone for the loneliness doesnt get any lonelier than this.
he's my dream, my everything. he's perfection to me, he's the love of my life. he has cradled me through each day, and embraced my fragility. there's something new to him each time i see him. each time i laugh, i know he thinks im beautiful. he is my baby, my one to call my own.
i feel encumbered by words, i feel like i am going at a speed too fast. i wish not for it to. i want to stop, i want to stop all the craziness that i have sucked myself into. but is this better? is having more than i should good? my mind is in no state to contemplate the thoughts that once scared me, and i no longer have the energy to go on. how then can i make all of this work for me? how should i stop feeling the feelings of fear, of insecurity, of loneliness?
i'm turning 19. 19, ah 19. somehow, i don't think it makes much of a difference any longer. for i have lost too many loved ones, and only a few that i want to really share this day with. but some arent here anymore. ive lost myself, ive surrendered to this evil- loneliness.
many a times, i feel like i can't take this life anymore. what will keep me going on? i really don't know any longer. it's getting late into the night and the sound of emo blasts on my radio. i am alone. i am alone. alone for the loneliness doesnt get any lonelier than this.
he's my dream, my everything. he's perfection to me, he's the love of my life. he has cradled me through each day, and embraced my fragility. there's something new to him each time i see him. each time i laugh, i know he thinks im beautiful. he is my baby, my one to call my own.
i feel encumbered by words, i feel like i am going at a speed too fast. i wish not for it to. i want to stop, i want to stop all the craziness that i have sucked myself into. but is this better? is having more than i should good? my mind is in no state to contemplate the thoughts that once scared me, and i no longer have the energy to go on. how then can i make all of this work for me? how should i stop feeling the feelings of fear, of insecurity, of loneliness?
i'm turning 19. 19, ah 19. somehow, i don't think it makes much of a difference any longer. for i have lost too many loved ones, and only a few that i want to really share this day with. but some arent here anymore. ive lost myself, ive surrendered to this evil- loneliness.
posted by jo # 3:54 PM 