they will see us waving from suchgreatheights
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
had i made a mistake back then, maybe i'll never know. there are times when i wonder if i ever did mean anything, and how come our friendship had such strange phases of drifting in and out. i tried to be there for you but i guess i just filled up the empty void for so long, not long, in fact. whatever it is, i hope you're happy then.
-- this is exactly how people can search and destroy, me.
how i wished i could find the exact words to articulate what i feel now, as the rain rages through the dark skies. but i don't know how, and i think i am quite scared. all because i am uncapable to put down into words what i feel and yet i still feel, so sad and so blue. i guess it's a random melancholy that has caught onto me by the mere rain, some eminent sadness that is whirling about the air. i have got too much work and too little time for thoughts like these. but they claw onto me like tentacles, waiting to rip me open like a timely bomb.
there are people i need to talk to and the procrastinator in me, is avoiding it. in fact, very much dreading it. i have grown too silent for the world to notice me, and maybe i could stay this invisible. in fact, it's not 'i could' but it's more, correctly, 'i want'. when i was happy, i thought i was sad. when i tried to show 'happy', i was sad. this dilemma catches me at its worst, all the time, especially now. maybe the distress is caused by the rain that splish and splash on the window panes of my room. i am locked in this claustrophobic space with a stranger that i cannot speak to, i just don't know how. both- literally and metaphorically. there isn't much left now for this night, i am tired.
but i have a test that i have yet to finish studying for, projects and datelines to meet. so can you please leave me alone now? these thoughts that are gripping and of the people that i love, but just fail to understand that i need some space to be alone. alone, is good.
happy 7 months my baby- you to me are everything, the sweetest song that i could sing-
-- this is exactly how people can search and destroy, me.
how i wished i could find the exact words to articulate what i feel now, as the rain rages through the dark skies. but i don't know how, and i think i am quite scared. all because i am uncapable to put down into words what i feel and yet i still feel, so sad and so blue. i guess it's a random melancholy that has caught onto me by the mere rain, some eminent sadness that is whirling about the air. i have got too much work and too little time for thoughts like these. but they claw onto me like tentacles, waiting to rip me open like a timely bomb.
there are people i need to talk to and the procrastinator in me, is avoiding it. in fact, very much dreading it. i have grown too silent for the world to notice me, and maybe i could stay this invisible. in fact, it's not 'i could' but it's more, correctly, 'i want'. when i was happy, i thought i was sad. when i tried to show 'happy', i was sad. this dilemma catches me at its worst, all the time, especially now. maybe the distress is caused by the rain that splish and splash on the window panes of my room. i am locked in this claustrophobic space with a stranger that i cannot speak to, i just don't know how. both- literally and metaphorically. there isn't much left now for this night, i am tired.
but i have a test that i have yet to finish studying for, projects and datelines to meet. so can you please leave me alone now? these thoughts that are gripping and of the people that i love, but just fail to understand that i need some space to be alone. alone, is good.
happy 7 months my baby- you to me are everything, the sweetest song that i could sing-
posted by jo # 1:39 PM 