they will see us waving from suchgreatheights
Saturday, October 08, 2005
maybe it's the gathering of old friends, of 20 minute conversations, or even less, that has made me realised how much we have all grown, moved on and moving on, we have. maybe i had too little time to tell all my beautiful girls that without them, i would have had nothing and would be nothing. for they have held my hands for so long, i don't know how else to express my gratitude and that the phrase 'thank you' would have been too shallow, too inadequate to piece together my gratefulness.
bry and yunwen, thank you, thank you so much. for your friendship has been probably been one of the greatest things i got out of vj.
i guess it's all up to me now. to take the first step and meet up more..because ive kept away for too long. yet, i have too much work, so much, i can hardly stop to breathe. i am in the middle of all this hastiness, wearing out like the sole of an old shoe. i wished for people to know that im not broken, but just that my heart is in a temporary state of dismemberment. if you had stayed long enough, you would know what i mean.
i am emptied more and more each day, i have no one to talk to, no one to rely on. being in ntu has made me realise that there are cliques you just cant break through to. there will always be this wall of territory i cannot invade, intrude, for it would be too much. i am unsure if it's because i havent made the effort, or if because people just don't want to be around me for long periods of time. sometimes i wished i had someone, just one friend, and that's all i need. but thanks valerie for your invitation, you are awesome.
then again, there are times i wished i wasn't so vulnerable. that my heart would be like steel, cold and so unfeeling. that i would stop being nice, just stop feeling altogether. wouldn't that be good? for i am just too tired of being stepped over, and over again.
have i said too much?
i think it's time i laid in bed with all these unsettling thoughts. -for i havent had sleep in forever, and ive been tired for so long-
bry and yunwen, thank you, thank you so much. for your friendship has been probably been one of the greatest things i got out of vj.
i guess it's all up to me now. to take the first step and meet up more..because ive kept away for too long. yet, i have too much work, so much, i can hardly stop to breathe. i am in the middle of all this hastiness, wearing out like the sole of an old shoe. i wished for people to know that im not broken, but just that my heart is in a temporary state of dismemberment. if you had stayed long enough, you would know what i mean.
i am emptied more and more each day, i have no one to talk to, no one to rely on. being in ntu has made me realise that there are cliques you just cant break through to. there will always be this wall of territory i cannot invade, intrude, for it would be too much. i am unsure if it's because i havent made the effort, or if because people just don't want to be around me for long periods of time. sometimes i wished i had someone, just one friend, and that's all i need. but thanks valerie for your invitation, you are awesome.
then again, there are times i wished i wasn't so vulnerable. that my heart would be like steel, cold and so unfeeling. that i would stop being nice, just stop feeling altogether. wouldn't that be good? for i am just too tired of being stepped over, and over again.
have i said too much?
i think it's time i laid in bed with all these unsettling thoughts. -for i havent had sleep in forever, and ive been tired for so long-
posted by jo # 10:21 AM 