they will see us waving from suchgreatheights
Thursday, December 22, 2005
(doing this becos i was asked[read:demanded] to.)
--anyway, i miss my emo stash. some things can only be expressed through that of music.
maybe i've grown past my jadedness and sunk into darkness far too deep. till some part of me will now, always remain dark. christmas was always , always my favourite holiday as a child. i remember decorating the christmas tree with my brother and aunt, remember coming home every evening from school and seeing it light up, in soft hues of orange that comforted me. remember the presents that stayed under the tree, and i will take it, feel it, shake it with all my might just to guess what it was. but now, suddenly, my house is barren with presents through no warning of any sorts. and the tree is no longer there. my home is dull and so quiet. no one speaks and when we do, we scream, she screams, i scream. and i am sad. that the only way i can feel like loving her again, is when im away from her.
and now christmas is no longer the same. not for me.
how did we, from mere children become such ugly creatures. always sad, always depressed. sorry, not we, but i. i guess i do love malcolm, alot, in fact. but i always feel so god damn guilty about every thing that goes wrong. I'M too sensitive, I'M too demanding, I'M too insecure and yadayada. and well, i guess i do love my parents and my brother. but there are times when i find it too god damn hard to even be ard them. that i would rather stay away from the 'comforts of home' and be in the confinement of my own solace.
i wrote a letter the last time, and i didnt address it to anyone. simply becos i dont know who would be very much interested any longer.
i bore myself.
the demons of my own self bore me. -yawn-
i loathe myself
but: MARY'S BACK! for a while now, and it has just been awesome hanging out with her. she's like my sister, and i love her. wished she wont go back..sigh. but on happier note, she understands me like no one can. (let's not get all mushy, but yeah:))
been working out with my gym buddy too, bel. haa. she inspires me! and forces me to do clean and jerk but im a lazy ass and i refuse to. ok i promise one day i will haul my lazy ass to ok?
narnia and oi sleeping beauty tmrw. oooh cant wait. gotta pee. and my eyes hurt. tamade.
music: west grand boulevard- (i dont know what the track title is)
--anyway, i miss my emo stash. some things can only be expressed through that of music.
maybe i've grown past my jadedness and sunk into darkness far too deep. till some part of me will now, always remain dark. christmas was always , always my favourite holiday as a child. i remember decorating the christmas tree with my brother and aunt, remember coming home every evening from school and seeing it light up, in soft hues of orange that comforted me. remember the presents that stayed under the tree, and i will take it, feel it, shake it with all my might just to guess what it was. but now, suddenly, my house is barren with presents through no warning of any sorts. and the tree is no longer there. my home is dull and so quiet. no one speaks and when we do, we scream, she screams, i scream. and i am sad. that the only way i can feel like loving her again, is when im away from her.
and now christmas is no longer the same. not for me.
how did we, from mere children become such ugly creatures. always sad, always depressed. sorry, not we, but i. i guess i do love malcolm, alot, in fact. but i always feel so god damn guilty about every thing that goes wrong. I'M too sensitive, I'M too demanding, I'M too insecure and yadayada. and well, i guess i do love my parents and my brother. but there are times when i find it too god damn hard to even be ard them. that i would rather stay away from the 'comforts of home' and be in the confinement of my own solace.
i wrote a letter the last time, and i didnt address it to anyone. simply becos i dont know who would be very much interested any longer.
i bore myself.
the demons of my own self bore me. -yawn-
i loathe myself
but: MARY'S BACK! for a while now, and it has just been awesome hanging out with her. she's like my sister, and i love her. wished she wont go back..sigh. but on happier note, she understands me like no one can. (let's not get all mushy, but yeah:))
been working out with my gym buddy too, bel. haa. she inspires me! and forces me to do clean and jerk but im a lazy ass and i refuse to. ok i promise one day i will haul my lazy ass to ok?
narnia and oi sleeping beauty tmrw. oooh cant wait. gotta pee. and my eyes hurt. tamade.
music: west grand boulevard- (i dont know what the track title is)
posted by jo # 12:29 AM 