they will see us waving from suchgreatheights

let me go, and let me walk away.

there are the moments where i see the bigger picture of things, and wonder to myself how come feelings come in spurts and then go so quietly, through no fault of my own or any others. but it's gone, and i dont think it'll ever come back again.

okay, beware, next half of the post would have me lapsing into moments of ditzyness and bimbotic-ness.but hell im a girl. so shut the hell up.

I WENT FOR CLEO'S 50 MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR'S BASH at MOS.
with??

PRIYANKA!!(my favourite gondoosamy) and tsd juniors- rau, farra, and KHAIRUL hahahah. and of course with JOHN (ie. shunping). poor boys, felt really outta place admist screaming girls. " COLBY I WANNA HAVE YOUR BABIES!" haha. some girls really ARE desperate. but hey, i was cool alright. just that i took tons of video. and i think howard lo is the most adorable man alive. sigh, how come these men only exist in my fantasies and such, but never happen to me in real life?
never the mind, i shall strive on and WAIT.
ahaha.

..so i went to seletar reservoir to see the girls row. kinda miss it actually..some kinda nostalgia overwhelmed me. i guess i forgot how much fun i could have if i just let go abit, and stop caring so much. (and hell, i think i like you, why must i like you? things are so hard when they keep making fun of us, and i hate that, i absolutely hate that. cos it makes talking to you seem like impossible and i wished it wasnt so hard, becos everytime i look at u, we can only sneak it, and not be public about it, becos when they start their bloody nonsense, we have to stop. we were talking for 2 minutes and they started it again. dammit, and why are you always playing so hard to get? why are you always playing this game so subtly, leave me wanting for more and then go again? why must i like people who do this kinda thing? OH MY GOD. SOMEBODY SHOOT ME PLEASE.)

i have been back for dance classes at jitterbugs and it makes me happy. these days, i think i care less and less, i learn to love myself more, and i learn that happiness is not that hard to achieve. so im glad i love myself more. and everyday, i learn to be happy bit by bit. but somehow the empty void still stays. but i guess im learning to take baby steps, like an infant unable to walk, crippled by fear of some sorts..but courage is coming, and i can feel myself being empowered with each day. i think he has moved on, and i think i'm learning to move on myself. and i want to be happy. (and on some level, i want him to feel guilty forever, for leaving me.)

some random notes-
1) i have too much work
2) i have chipped yellow nails
3) there's a bumpy little pimple growing underneath eyelid and it wont go away
4) i still wear contact lenses
5) i very gian to dance
6) i miss yunnie,bry and nelle very very much
7) i miss buttered popcorn too (JAS! COME HOME SOON!)
8) i think ill go back to dragonboat
9) i havent made my gold shoes :(
10) exams are coming (TAMADE)
11) i have chipped yellow nails but too lazy to remove them(eee)
12) i not wearing bra (before you have any stupid thoughts, my top has a double layer thank you very much : ))
13) i want to shit
14) there are too many random things
15)and i need someone's credit card to buy all the hubert selby jr. books in the world (last exit to brooklyn was..heartwrenching and real)

Hell, i just wanna dance.

music: lee wai pheng talking (yes im blogging during lecture)