they will see us waving from suchgreatheights
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
i wanna get out of here as soon as i can, as fast as i can, and just leave. leave the memories behind, and leave all that i messed up here. i just want to leave. but maybe it's this melancholy that should leave me, and leave me for good.
what do you want from me? what business have i left unsettled? why should i continuouslly be tormented by you? why do you make me so miserable that even the tears wont comprehend what the feelings that run deep within mean? why why why?
it is only when the night draws into the early morning, that i start to feel this way. that my heart starts to ache and ache it must.
forgive me, i gave in this time to the pain. and i cant just ignore it like i can in the day, when the world is fine and dandy then.
as i run through and keep up with the lives of my friends, i realised i have missed out on so much. and i miss them all so much. yet, my heart is clapsed so tight and i cant find the remedy, the way out of this darkness. i want so much to let it all go, and sometimes i grow so tired of just talking about all of this pain. but it's 3 am in the morning, and i can take it no longer. for all of this madness, all of this weariness that weighs itself upon me, i need to get out.
there are some things in my life that remain consistent. and maybe that is why i love dance so much. because i can hide behind that song, that beat, and my feet. but i know i am not a good dancer, and that hurts. an awful lot to me. for the thing i love is not the thing i can be best at. so what am i good at? i guess im good at..i dont know. my talents are few. and maybe none at all. yet, i wish not to become one of those who wallow into self-pity, who keep harping on insignificance as a failure. but im tired of keeping up and trying to convince myself of whatever so-called worthiness i have. cos it's just not working anymore. it just isn't. and these are the moments i want so much to have someone tell me u'll be fine jo, u are great, u are beautiful just the way you are. but no, no one is here, as concave scream accompanies through this sad, raining night.
sigh, i am sorry for this post, i might take it down. i just had to give in to the pain.
i, just had to.
music: concave scream- fade
mebbe it's the exams wearing me down, and the thought of exchange seems to be slipping further and further away from me.
what do you want from me? what business have i left unsettled? why should i continuouslly be tormented by you? why do you make me so miserable that even the tears wont comprehend what the feelings that run deep within mean? why why why?
it is only when the night draws into the early morning, that i start to feel this way. that my heart starts to ache and ache it must.
forgive me, i gave in this time to the pain. and i cant just ignore it like i can in the day, when the world is fine and dandy then.
as i run through and keep up with the lives of my friends, i realised i have missed out on so much. and i miss them all so much. yet, my heart is clapsed so tight and i cant find the remedy, the way out of this darkness. i want so much to let it all go, and sometimes i grow so tired of just talking about all of this pain. but it's 3 am in the morning, and i can take it no longer. for all of this madness, all of this weariness that weighs itself upon me, i need to get out.
there are some things in my life that remain consistent. and maybe that is why i love dance so much. because i can hide behind that song, that beat, and my feet. but i know i am not a good dancer, and that hurts. an awful lot to me. for the thing i love is not the thing i can be best at. so what am i good at? i guess im good at..i dont know. my talents are few. and maybe none at all. yet, i wish not to become one of those who wallow into self-pity, who keep harping on insignificance as a failure. but im tired of keeping up and trying to convince myself of whatever so-called worthiness i have. cos it's just not working anymore. it just isn't. and these are the moments i want so much to have someone tell me u'll be fine jo, u are great, u are beautiful just the way you are. but no, no one is here, as concave scream accompanies through this sad, raining night.
sigh, i am sorry for this post, i might take it down. i just had to give in to the pain.
i, just had to.
music: concave scream- fade
mebbe it's the exams wearing me down, and the thought of exchange seems to be slipping further and further away from me.
posted by jo # 2:24 AM 