they will see us waving from suchgreatheights

so the world cup has ended and italy emerged the champs. sorry to all italian fans, but im not the least bit pleased about it. because, i hate italians. and i wish all of them DEAD. they're rude, uncouth and very impolite. and as a person who regards courtesy and respect as one of the most important and cardinal rule when it comes to dealing with people, i would say, die, die, die.

these days havent been easy. i constantly waver between the two emotions of being extremely happy and extremely depressed. it's very tiring on my soul and on my heart. i really don't know why. i hate to be played the way im being played, and yet still keep drawing myself closer and closer to something that maybe i wasnt meant to have at all. i mean come on, it's me. and it's. this. i am confused as a duck (i cant explain the analogy) and i wished i could do something about it. i am losing reason and space, time is also running out and i feel like im being pressed to do something. what? i dont know.

tonight, or this morning, i feel like talking.

and yet there isnt anything for me to say, or anyone for me to talk to. this is so god damn depressing.

everyone's grown up, growing up and more. friends are getting married, friends from overseas are back and im, getting beer and peanuts for men. the sad thing is that i dont seem to mind my total lack of concern. this summer i had too much fun and too little time to care. which is no good. cos ultimately i have to GET some things done. yet i dont want to. how else should i live, should i go on this road? should i live the right life. and by that i mean sleeping at sane hours and waking up in the day? instead of trawling the streets at night and sleeping in the day. and by that i too mean to be acting all prim and proper, doing the regular things, rather than be flighty and happy, laughing at every single damn thing and other random things which i will not speak of here.

im losing faith and faith has lost me.

this is no good.

see i told u i hate 3am-s.

but on happier things, moving on. i had my hair coloured and now i look like jean gray, but the less hotter version of course. ooh yay. plus everyone has to watch c.r.a.z.y. it's a bloody ass good movie, marc andre grondin aside(that i can leave for another day, but he is just totally sex god material). i felt all warm and fuzzy inside after that movie, that doesnt happen everyday.
i like to be with people who can understand what you are talking about and not look at you judgementally now.
and happier things would mean: I GOT MY PAY CHECK. i slogged my asss off for it, so i sure as hell can spend it in anyway i want, so you who have comments, shut up. i cant wait. BANGKOK BABY!!!!my guess bag, eyebrow piercing once again and more online shopping, and bloody ear-rings. HOORAH FOR ME. shopping is pretty the only activity im good at, but i sure as hell love it. haha.

to quit or not to quit is the question now

things change, people change but i dont want to change. i scared myself with change, and now ive changed.