they will see us waving from suchgreatheights

is it true that when you are sad, you can write and write but the words dont seem to fit? or that when you are happy, you can write and write but all the words seem to be inadequate at expressing that joy you feel? so when will it ever be a good time for me to write? cos lately, i feel like ive been void of emotions but not in a bad way, yet, in a not so good way as well.

i am drained, but i can still laugh. i am tired, but i can still make peace with it. i feel like i am being pulled in opposites direction but headed for the same end. does that make sense? i dont know.

i love to dance, it is now my only form of escapism. letting go of every single damned feeling i have in me that is weighing me down. but lately, i am feeling very upset, awkward and uncomfortable during every practice. because of a particular someone. i wanna say fuck off and leave it be. but can it be that simple? yet at the same time i question: when did things get so complicated? i feel bad, when i shouldnt be. i feel like i am in the wrong, although i didnt do so much as to be blamed for anything. so don't put your shit on me.

i am currently having an illicit love affair with sex and the city. it is my life. it glorifies everything, both good and bad, about manhattan, the town that my life was made to be in. and i am totally loving it. it makes me cry, and laugh at the same time. abit like friends, but in a different way. i love it that it can tell me the truths about single men and single women, in the least judgmental, yet real way. although god help me, i want to slap charlotte sometimes. she is so god damn whiny.

and to quote:
'it's like the riddle of the sphinx: why are there so many great unmarried women but no great unmarried men?- carrie bradshaw'
'(on the topic of blow jobs) we dont call it a 'job' for nothing you know- samantha jones'
god the last one had me cracking up.

alot of people always tell me they dont see me in school. for the record, id like to state that i DO attend all my lessons and i am in school. i just dont exactly like to spend my time in pretnetious-land, with people flinging their tiaras and indulging in their hypocrisy. i rather hang back with my girls bitching and not dig myself a hole that which would be my grave eventually. i like being alone and independent. that's just the way i am.

what happened to all my friends of which we pledge undying alleigance to? of family talks and of love? i dont know.

maybe that's why im single. im too tough for people to break.