they will see us waving from suchgreatheights
Friday, April 20, 2007
i hadnt meant to blog tonight, in fear of looking thoroughly self-indulgent and selfish. but i had to.
feeling damn fucked up about dancetitude right now. it's like what's the fucking point of me dancing. i have never missed a single dance session, i am always there. yah, so fine, i am not the best dancer in the world, and I KNOW THAT. but why must u deprive me of my chances? I had wanted to be in dances that i want to try out. like lyrical hip hop or something with a slight contemporary twist. but did u give me any of that? no. instead because of ur mistake, i was taken out of morning's and just dumped into any other dance. dont get me wrong, i have great great respect for rashida, but u just made me feel like im totally useless and not needed at all. what good show? what? i dont even feel like dancing anymore.
i dont see a point.
ive been trying so hard to impress people, to impress you, but there's always something that i am not doing right. in your eyes, i am just another girl who should be standing in the back row and not the front. it was a mistake to pick me and to put me into freshmakers. much thanks to your friend. i know you dont want me to do dances for mj, because u are afraid that i will put the club to shame. you never saw me as a good dancer. u only saw me as joanne, the dancer who got in by chance. you never asked me if i wanted to do any dances, you only went straight ahead for the better ones. i was just a back up. like dxo, u only did it cos you felt it was fair. all because you had asked everyone else except me, and since everyone else turned down, and i said yes, it was only natural for you to take me in.
maybe i am imagining all of this in my head, or that the stress of the exams have taken a toll on me. perhaps. i dont know.
all i know is that i have great passion for dance, and you're only killing it all. till the point when i just want to give up dancing altogether.
thanks, hi, i am your new vicepresident btw, of which i know i certainly didnt earn because of my dancing ability, but because no one else had wanted to run for the position. yay. makes me feel great.i suck, woopie.
feeling damn fucked up about dancetitude right now. it's like what's the fucking point of me dancing. i have never missed a single dance session, i am always there. yah, so fine, i am not the best dancer in the world, and I KNOW THAT. but why must u deprive me of my chances? I had wanted to be in dances that i want to try out. like lyrical hip hop or something with a slight contemporary twist. but did u give me any of that? no. instead because of ur mistake, i was taken out of morning's and just dumped into any other dance. dont get me wrong, i have great great respect for rashida, but u just made me feel like im totally useless and not needed at all. what good show? what? i dont even feel like dancing anymore.
i dont see a point.
ive been trying so hard to impress people, to impress you, but there's always something that i am not doing right. in your eyes, i am just another girl who should be standing in the back row and not the front. it was a mistake to pick me and to put me into freshmakers. much thanks to your friend. i know you dont want me to do dances for mj, because u are afraid that i will put the club to shame. you never saw me as a good dancer. u only saw me as joanne, the dancer who got in by chance. you never asked me if i wanted to do any dances, you only went straight ahead for the better ones. i was just a back up. like dxo, u only did it cos you felt it was fair. all because you had asked everyone else except me, and since everyone else turned down, and i said yes, it was only natural for you to take me in.
maybe i am imagining all of this in my head, or that the stress of the exams have taken a toll on me. perhaps. i dont know.
all i know is that i have great passion for dance, and you're only killing it all. till the point when i just want to give up dancing altogether.
thanks, hi, i am your new vicepresident btw, of which i know i certainly didnt earn because of my dancing ability, but because no one else had wanted to run for the position. yay. makes me feel great.i suck, woopie.
posted by jo # 2:08 AM 