they will see us waving from suchgreatheights
Sunday, April 15, 2007
(read: below's entry was written last night but i failed to post it up, due to a shitty internet connection but i cleverly saved it! muahahha)
seriously, i pity you. with all that self-indulgent bull. tell me, it must be tiring being you isnt it.
fuck murphy's law. seriously. everytime i wanna go tan, it rains. but when i leave to shower, it starts to shine again. LIKE WTF.
angry la. but perhaps it's god's way of supporting mary, and the fact that i shld stop tanning.
itunes, my pride and joy baby. i have 1,642 songs on my ipod and hiphop alone has got 1,028 songs. i still have yet to transfer my indie junk too. oooh yeah baby. i'm so ready for your birthday party yunnie. i rock:)
friday was my last art history class with kate. i am going to miss it aplenty. i really do love art, and the philosophies behind it. while i am not the best drawer/designer in the world, i realised that for me, it's more of what art can do for a person. that the futility of life, society, corruption, the lack of morality can all be translated onto a canvas. that a picture can say so much. it's amazing how much i have learnt from this course, that even studying for it, seems like a joy. is this what i really wanna do for life? i just know i want to be part of it always.
i am constantly plagued by thoughts of how my life will turn out. will i stay here in singapore? or will i go to the city that i left my heart in, new york? will i work in a magazine and write about fashion, be a columnist for a fancy tabloid, here, elsewhere? will i get married, have kids and settle down in fear of dying an old maid? or will i lead a bohemian life, of independence and freedom, of being an individual who does what she wants when she wants? i have always thought of myself as being independent, while lapsing into moments of 'i need a man'. but more importantly, what will my life be like when i'm 30. who will be my friends? where will i stay? what will i do? in 2 more years, ill be thrown out into the real world, of backbiting and bitching. and all i wanna do is take a big nap whenever i think about it. 2 years, passes before u know it. all i know is that i dont want to spend the rest of my life, worrying. my uncle tells me to go to new york and do what i love, live the life i know i will come to love. is it where i really wanna go? my heart says yes. but then there are other aspects to consider. what about my family? what about my friends? what about the expenses? can i do this? what if i had continued pursuing art in ny? what if i wanna work in MoMA? will there be opportunities for a mediocre, average asian like me? so many questions, so many uncertainties. i cant answer.
maybe it's because im studying for art that all of these thoughts hit me. but it's scary.
I am going to go for part time courses at nafa during the summer cos I think that the more I go and do something that I love, the more certain I can be about the uncertainties. Will I make this my career one day? To work in a gallery, to write for an art magazine? Maybe, I don’t know. All I know is that I can’t keep wondering anymore. But to make the best out of the situation.
27th of april, zouk baby with yos. It’s been a 4 months hiatus. It’s time to break into my dancing shoes and in yos’s words, “imma gonna dance like madfuck.” Hahahhaha.
mary’s coming home soon, yayyyyyyyy! I want u to meet my friends maryann and Eunice, I think they’ll love u. and of course, u’ll love them! Hahaha. Kisses, loadsa hugs and loadsa lesbian love going on. : ) xoxo
my brother just asked me if I wanted to go attica. I want lor. But he said ‘eh u having exams right, don’t go.’ UGH. But it’s okay me love u many many kor. For giving me money when I have none, giving me an ipod, for bringing me out on date night (ie. Friday/Saturday nights) when I am a total loser having absolutely nothing to do, and for telling me to follow my heart. (I wont lapse into one of those sentimental and wussy crap, but u know la huh)
shld go back to studying. And leave these thoughts for another not-so-rainy day. (still pissed btw)
seriously, i pity you. with all that self-indulgent bull. tell me, it must be tiring being you isnt it.
fuck murphy's law. seriously. everytime i wanna go tan, it rains. but when i leave to shower, it starts to shine again. LIKE WTF.
angry la. but perhaps it's god's way of supporting mary, and the fact that i shld stop tanning.
itunes, my pride and joy baby. i have 1,642 songs on my ipod and hiphop alone has got 1,028 songs. i still have yet to transfer my indie junk too. oooh yeah baby. i'm so ready for your birthday party yunnie. i rock:)
friday was my last art history class with kate. i am going to miss it aplenty. i really do love art, and the philosophies behind it. while i am not the best drawer/designer in the world, i realised that for me, it's more of what art can do for a person. that the futility of life, society, corruption, the lack of morality can all be translated onto a canvas. that a picture can say so much. it's amazing how much i have learnt from this course, that even studying for it, seems like a joy. is this what i really wanna do for life? i just know i want to be part of it always.
i am constantly plagued by thoughts of how my life will turn out. will i stay here in singapore? or will i go to the city that i left my heart in, new york? will i work in a magazine and write about fashion, be a columnist for a fancy tabloid, here, elsewhere? will i get married, have kids and settle down in fear of dying an old maid? or will i lead a bohemian life, of independence and freedom, of being an individual who does what she wants when she wants? i have always thought of myself as being independent, while lapsing into moments of 'i need a man'. but more importantly, what will my life be like when i'm 30. who will be my friends? where will i stay? what will i do? in 2 more years, ill be thrown out into the real world, of backbiting and bitching. and all i wanna do is take a big nap whenever i think about it. 2 years, passes before u know it. all i know is that i dont want to spend the rest of my life, worrying. my uncle tells me to go to new york and do what i love, live the life i know i will come to love. is it where i really wanna go? my heart says yes. but then there are other aspects to consider. what about my family? what about my friends? what about the expenses? can i do this? what if i had continued pursuing art in ny? what if i wanna work in MoMA? will there be opportunities for a mediocre, average asian like me? so many questions, so many uncertainties. i cant answer.
maybe it's because im studying for art that all of these thoughts hit me. but it's scary.
I am going to go for part time courses at nafa during the summer cos I think that the more I go and do something that I love, the more certain I can be about the uncertainties. Will I make this my career one day? To work in a gallery, to write for an art magazine? Maybe, I don’t know. All I know is that I can’t keep wondering anymore. But to make the best out of the situation.
27th of april, zouk baby with yos. It’s been a 4 months hiatus. It’s time to break into my dancing shoes and in yos’s words, “imma gonna dance like madfuck.” Hahahhaha.
mary’s coming home soon, yayyyyyyyy! I want u to meet my friends maryann and Eunice, I think they’ll love u. and of course, u’ll love them! Hahaha. Kisses, loadsa hugs and loadsa lesbian love going on. : ) xoxo
my brother just asked me if I wanted to go attica. I want lor. But he said ‘eh u having exams right, don’t go.’ UGH. But it’s okay me love u many many kor. For giving me money when I have none, giving me an ipod, for bringing me out on date night (ie. Friday/Saturday nights) when I am a total loser having absolutely nothing to do, and for telling me to follow my heart. (I wont lapse into one of those sentimental and wussy crap, but u know la huh)
shld go back to studying. And leave these thoughts for another not-so-rainy day. (still pissed btw)
posted by jo # 8:05 PM 